Please help me, HELP ANGELINA

Angelina and Emma could be twins although Angelina was born exactly a year before Emma she resides in an orphanage. The HUGE difference is Angelina will not have early interventions, quality medical care and daily contact with advocating parents if she is not adopted. The most critical is this sweet look alike to my angel baby Emma, is Angelina, she will be forced to go into an institution for life if not adopted by the age of 4. She will be most likely be strapped/tied to her for what they see as safety reasons. She will not be provided any chance of a normal/humane life. This breaks my heart in more ways than I can share. It is very difficult to know this happens more difficult to bare when you look into the eyes of a little Princess that appears to be a twin to one of your own... She needs love and attention to thrive as our Emma has. I would fly over and adopt her but my income is limited so it makes it next to impossible. I do not want to return to "out of the home employment" which hinders/neglects the kids in the home now from getting the proper care... we have the space(we always have room for one more) and obviously I have the environment but funds do not support it> NEXT BEST is advocating she get a family outside of ours. One child at a time we can all do this as a team. PLEASE GIVE WHAT YOU CAN TO HELP GET ANGELINA A FAMILY.


www.reecesrainbow.com
Angelina

fcj4, 3G

Girl, Born March 2008

This beautiful muffin, look how she has grown! She does have a heart condition and will need to seek a cardiologist and surgery once home. She needs a family ASAP!

Additional photos available!

I have $31.5 in my grant fund towards the cost of my adoption!
This $31.50 has come in within the past 24 hours..THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

a mini vacation from my mom role; very mini

I hit the brick wall of parenting; good thing I had on my protective gear and bounced back quickly.

I just needed to drive, drive solo so I can blast the music and have flash backs of my mom saying "turn that down you, are ruining your hearing" that didn't phase me today nor back when she said it. I just needed to drive... and if I had a hard top convertible the top would have been down but for now they do not make Chevy Express 3500 15 passenger vans with hard top convertibles, so having the windows down had to do... So I drove..... I kinda had to drive in circles because my daughter could text at any minute that she is in labor and I need to be home....BUT I needed to just have a moment alone with really loud music and pretty much shut my brain off other than necessary driving skills and an eye on the cell phone for an incoming text light to come on... and I drove, not sure how many song played, really didn't care if I knew all the words, I pretended I did, sang like nobodies watching.. and I drove... it works for me.. a mini vacation of my responsibilities. You see, I am a 24/7 -- 365 parent without moments of release; no partner to say, go take a shower I got it, or No it is OK you go to the store by yourself, I got it. Noone ever says that. You say; well she has a 17 and 16 year old but neither are capable to "babysit."

AND THERE IT IS...the light to the text on my phone, do I read it or just race home..

A red light aloud me to read it "what do you do when Tressa throws such a fit she tears her room up" I want to text back....go for a drive.. but I called and all I could hear was screaming, a high pitch scream to keep any communication from occurring. I could hear Mandie trying to talk over the scream..."MOM IS ON THE PHONE FOR YOU" after about 3 attempts I hear panting so I say "Tressa?" she half says yeeeesss sniffle sniffle, so I know she is on the phone.. I hear everyone in the back ground saying she was cheating on the game memory and got mad.. I go over the rules if you play with other people you play the game as the rules are written. if you want to alter the game it has to be when you play solo.. then, I am passing Walgreen's so you have less than 5 minutes to get your room back the way it looked when I left or you will pay negative consequences.. Oh it just brings me back to reality in seconds...as I walked in the door Tressa was at the table, all quiet and they were resuming the memory game. With severe OCD she struggles when the pieces are not exactly the same space apart, all facing the same way and if you play you need to let her win.. it has never worked for her so I have no idea why she continues to think it will work. I am home, reality is what it is and now I slide back into the responsible mom role...

read my parenting post to understand......

My parenting delima, getting through to a 17 year old

I have a delima... My 17 year old has this entitlement belief you might call it.. I am not really sure why she has NO DESIRE to get a job. Not even a babysitting job, cleaning a home job, a real life big girl job... anything other than the TV and social networking has no appeal to her. I must say "well you could have one of those, if you got a job" "those are things you can have, if you get a job" I set up interviews for her and she makes a reason or sabatouges the time to go... and believe me today they are very hard to arrange. You say limit the giving to her..I DO.. I have bought 2 pair of PJ's in the past eight months for her..that is it..SO SHE TAKES HER SIBLINGS CLOTHES. Even when I tell her it is not permitted, does it any way..
TODAY, it has been two years of constant "we do not eat or drink in the TV room" over and over and over... most of the kids "get it" but I have this 17 year old that feels this rule does not apply to her... I am going to post what i FOUND UNDER THE COUCHES WHICH IS HER ROOM AS HER CHORE TO KEEP UP. I do the deep cleaning.. thus how I found this surprise. I told her two days ago this room better be clean because I was going to "clean" it when they went back to school... "OK MOM" I told her I better not find anything under the couches... "YOU WON'T" well her the photos speak for themselves. I am 100% positive it is my 17 year old... WHHY . Because she is the one who came in and asked if she could fry up some cheese sticks during break..late at night. SEE 12 cheese sticks fried under the couch!!!! The cup of coofee..well cream with a splash of coffee, only her... the cake yes an entire cake (Tressa would not have left the crumbs nor used a fork or left it closed with the fork inside) the bowls dishes etc...noope, if it were any of the other kids they would have left it out on the coffee tables.. I KNOW MY KIDS>.. so what do I do?? She knows she is not to do this....she knows full well and yet has no remorse when I confront her, has no shame that I expose her... She has in home therapy who says "it is normal" IT IS NOT NORMAL after you talk about it, make rules and have repeated consequences...she is not my first rodeo... MY OTHERS would disobey but my goodness they cleaned it up so I didn't know until they were in their late 20's. I am at a loss, she is going to be 18 in a year and I know me I know me well.... it will not be pretty when she violates house rules once she is 18...... call me mean, call me terrible but I do not want rats, I hate bugs and most importantly I am responsible to keep Tressa safe and this is as unsafe as it gets for a home with a child who has Prader-willi syndrome... In a couple years Tressa will learn to clean out from under the couches...she will beat me to it and I am sure Keirsten will be more than happy to let her....URG URG this just gets my last nerve...and the worst is I do not know how to reach her about how gross it is .....

Dear Santa, I have a few things for you to remember

It was so wonderful, you dropping such child centered toys under our tree. It was apparent you truly went by the wishes the children made and fulfilled their dreams. I am thinking maybe next year it might be best for the wiser of the decision making to think before they deliver...

Think about Keirsten who will be 18 yes, EIGHTEEN, next Christmas and she needs to be reminded about adulthood and that decisions made reflect on her character so possibly some gift job related to get her of gaming and social networking... I think encouraging more of those activities has decreased her desire to FIND A JOB!!!!

Kaitlyn, she needs focused on mature although please keep in mind her innocents. She can use a little grown up style but the thongs, please DO NOT fulfill that wish for her. She struggles with all the fancy big girl lace and skimpy designs you delivered this year. and then next to that a baby doll that eats and wets... well she has two baby alives (Emma and Lucas) so she really has enough feeding and diaper changing. I would also encourage more of the music with words because while using her iPod which she loves it is becoming a public nuisance when she is rocking out and others do not see the whale calling sounds are coming from. I will discuss with her speech teacher as well...

Steven oh my oh my Steven, you sure made life so much fun for Mr Steven, actually I have been up since 4 am yes I have ... You see I was in the deep sleep where you can put together dreams that make sleeping relaxing while I lay on the beaches of so remote island....but some how about 3:45is my dream went into dance party mode and I found myself sweating to the music and at about 4 it came to me that the Daisy Dukes blasting was not a dream but a party going on in the boys room of my own house... The CD Boom Box was BOOMING!!! the boys were both sitting against the wall rocking their backs to the wall with pleasure written all over their faces ...well until I walked in... UH OH was what I recall.. The finger skate boards have taken over his world and homework might be a focus better served next year...Some educational supports which are "making learning fun" I appreciate everything the kids are loving but thinking about me a bit in the plan is where this is heading..

Jordan, well who know how one can plan for him... I think his own apartment might be the only solution. He continues to require 2 am showers and those Scooby Do movies REALLY, entire seasons, ALL OF THEM do you have any idea how many hours they run.. I DO! You can literally watch scooby Do from the time he gets off the bus on Friday until e boards Monday and have some he hasn't seen yet.. CCRRRRAAAAAZZZYYYY and it has little substance for his intellectual growth. I am more pleased with the books, puzzles and games although possibly a storage of some sort to help him learn when you tear a box into 28 pieces there is still a reason we need to put all the pieces to each game separate from another and together for additional plays... Lets think hard about Jordan for next year....like maybe something to encourage him to sleep in his own bed..

Tressa, NO MORE TINY PIECES please.... tiny pieces with OCD are not a good mix at least not in the developmental stage she is at today. I know you wanted to make her happy with all the beads..... and you looked out for me with the containers but to be honest that made sorting more OCD related so she isn't making jewelry pieces more sorting and spilling and what a nightmare for me since Baby Emma is every where these days. Keep in mind more things to keep her off the TV and active, possibly outdoors.

Lucas, you sure made that little boy happy as a pig in mud...He has shown his skills to find each and every piece of musical or noise making item in one spot and orchestrates such a loud continuous sound that goes on and on and on and on and on...and on and on and on.... get it... he is talented.. I hope to See e more purpose play without making noises, he has that mastered..well maybe not the purpose but the how to make something drive mom crazy is down solid. Puzzles are good, also if you get noise related learning focus on ones that headphones can be inserted to silence to the household... that would be wonderful because some noise is good although repeated 8 billion times over and over is not,


Emma, well this girl needs anything that requires her to walk. How about a trike...well she has a 4 wheeler and still refuses to walk... I know she is a baby but by next Christmas she will be the toddler... I have big plans for her Birthday so let's see how she matures in her own room with so many have to walk or stand to play with things to do in her girlie girl room... I will keep you posted.

Well it is onward with my day.... I am one tired mommy since the kids can not seem to get back into step with school days... I am not clear on the reason, Hmmm are they aloud to nap at school or was I totally oblivious to night party hours... Monday night well, Tuesday morning started at 3 am and Wed this morning at 4 am....during break it was 7 am.... something doesn't add up... I figure at this rate we will be in step for the next week where there is no school Monday or Friday and only 1/2 days all week.... being the week Baby O is due to deliver.. Yes I know she has a name... Olivia Lilly, my fifth grand baby is almost here. SPOIL SPOIL SPOIL she is truly already a Princess.

Today we made house slippers

random December 2010 photos

facebook has many more photos

Since I have joined facebook and blogging it is easy for me to shoot a photo with my phone to show you projects the kids are doing verses on the camera and uploading a seperate time. If you join my facebook you will see the day to day activities easier in photos.

we made most of our gifts this year, lots of crafts

Now that I got that out of the way.................

Hi, Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.. Happy Holidays... I have many friends of varied beliefs so that is my politically correct Intro.

I must say that this is the first breath I have taken without lists around me, worry on my shoulders and stress surrounding me.

The holiday party was a success although many children were ill this year so the attendance was a bit low. We had extra food for sure. I was so busy I forgot to get baby Emma on Santa for a good shot to hang... I hope to get to the mall before he fly's off for the year. The kids enjoyed their time at the party. We are back to our holiday crafts. I am not feeling the feeling of holiday cheer, kinda floating from one issue to another inside my head, which is in a fog... Having an ear infection at fifty is annoying for sure. It doesn't hurt, just keeping me in a fog, like my head is in a fish bowl.

Keirsten informed me this week, we are not poor mom we are on a tight budget and you (me) screwed this month up pretty bad...LOL hate when the kids are right. She is 17 now and doing much better with a new meds mix.

Kaitlyn is 16 and was very cute at her annual physical when she was examined and did not feel her body should be invaded by her doctor. She actual fought his hands off her when he was trying to check her tummy .... then yep...a peek up top to be sure everything is growing correctly and she was upset her looked at "HE looked at my boobs mom".... LOL then came the conversation about her period and if she wanted to take the Depo shot to stop the bleeding.. yep yep yep stop my period until he said she would need to come every three months for a shot.. then it was No SHOTs No SHOTs... so we are holding off on that until next year.

Steven is Mohawk boy, he loves his hair cut in this style as it makes for conversation from many people out in the public. The attention is making Steven more confident. He is growing up fast, has his moments, although over all he is growing up to a nice young man.

Jordan is Jordan and very much mommas boy still. Some days it feels warm and fuzzy and other annoying and stressful. He is doing very well at school which is wonderful. He is picking up more and more as he calms in that setting. His wish for Christmas is the Lego's pirate ship and his dream to get on the Disney ship for a cruise to be with Capt Hook and Peter Pan.

Tressa rides on Jordan's dream telling everyone she wants to spend the day with Windy little John and I think the other little brother is Mathew maybe??? She knows..... well then she says Peter pan and Tinker Bell. She is struggling with her PWS fight OCD and most of the time is in control. The off moments well it is what it is.

Lucas is getting more Mobile, acting like a typical toddler, exploring his environment and testing everyone to be on their toes. He got away the other day while our home had two extra families staying and a one time incident where one families truck needed power boosted with a drop cord,,, front door propped open and whala.... Lucas was all over that opportunity. He is home safe and sound actually before the police got to the neighborhood he was already home, showered and eating. He is oblivious to the dangers in the neighborhood..... we live near many canals, lots and lots of water.

Emma is the cutiest little red head alive. She is a mommas girl although very happy to snuggle with several others as well but now with mommy the giggles melt my heart.

My problem with blogging is that I was raised if you do not have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.... I am sure I have lots to say nice but lately when something starts out nice it tends to turn not so nice and I for whatever reason am struggling with the whole life just isn't fair..... and I know as a mom I should be able to swallow it to understand everything in life isn't fair although as an adult I want to be a part of making it fair although changing life's history seems a tad bit out of my league of advocacy. Although knowing me I am going to take the hard road and try... where is my head...it is out there...

#1 I have had an ear infection double and feeling miserable although without health insurance I will hold out to every home remedy and many times send myself deeper in pain, who knows what medically I risk but without health insurance it is what it is... some say go to ER for everything, my credit report says that is not a good plan, My brain goes to why does my ex have quality health care paid by tax payers while residing in prison for committing a crime unspeakable..... yet I adopt 9 children all having special needs give up my career, devote my life to the welfare of children and I can not get antibiotics... well I can but I do not QUALIFY for any help so I would have to fit it into the budget...

Then we QUALIFY for nothing, really nothing.... absolutely nothing.... I hear our country did a energy program and to QUALIFY for the perk you have to be elderly, disabled or have a child under the age of 5 years old...I am a shoe in 7 children disabled, one under 1 to boot..... shoe in...NOPE we do not QUALIFY. I know I should be thrilled that our income doesn't QUALIFY us but when you sit in a lobby where every woman has her nails done, hair tied twisted, highlighted fresh cuts and fashion clothes with crystal clean new shoes... with some average cars I wonder..... when they figure the income to QUALIFY do they understand that with 7 children who are disabled I replace the average toilet way more often than the average household, I drive a van that takes 10X more to run, more windows are broken from fly away baseballs, holes repaired..oh refrigerators wear out or stoves get broken more often than the average household.... how about all the doctors appointments hotels for out of town medical needs, hey the fact it is two hotel rooms not one.... but where does that play into the equation.... because we just do not QUALIFY... ''Here is my grip...

A person on SSI receiving 674.00 a month gets additional $180.00 for food... for one person. but because I have more than one... they get nothing because they do not QUALIFY... not that I want food stamps but please if there is some energy credit...for a person with disabilities...toss the perk out where it makes sense... no I do not lie, I will not babysit and not report it, I do not sell any drugs or work under the table and if I earned any income I would report it and do.... so I do not get my nails done any longer, I am in need of a hair cut, I am without medical care and we do save every bit we can by cutting each and every corner possible... who gets a new refrigerator delivered in hours for $20.00 a person who works her budget to the penny..... My house is busting at the seams with kids toys, therapy equipment and kids clothes.... My life is providing for their needs... we are not NEEDING for anything but ghee it would have been nice to have that little extra because we QUALIFIED for a little perk.....

I have no clue how you moms of two year olds blog, I have NO TIME..... She is into everything if I am not one on one doing things with her and then she takes a nap, I do the household items I use to do when she sat and played solo. NOW, I barely get a handle on those items and she is up from her nap.... I then use to get to have my personal time at 8 pm.... until 11ish. Well since she rested for two hours she feels she is entitled to her time after 8pm.... So here I am with this bright eyes little fire cracker ready for mom and her time and she would very much like to take over this lap top for her time with Sarah Grace...... Ok, I need to get off before she rips my arm off so if I get her off to sleep and have time outside my me time, I will be back on....... HOW DO YOU MOMS DO THIS?????????????????????

Happy Holidays to all.

Bless me followers for I have not posted, it has been 2 months since my last post.

I have not been too busy nor lacking blog comic material. i have been living with out a lap top or computer in the house. I have had my Palm Pre which if you have one know that the max is getting things uploaded on facebook. Spelling is not corrected, many times words I thought I printed came through totally different.

So today as I am in a slump am here to catch you all up.... since October 5th 2010.... Lucas is now 7 WOW is right, Tressa turned 9, Mandie turned 32 and is not in her last month of pregnancy, Thanksgiving came and went with us boycotting in a sense because we were all going to be together today (Mandie's baby shower..). I tend to take the hard road in learning life lessons...never boycott Thanksgiving. CHECK.... ingrained into my memory forever.

I am in last of the planning for the annual Holiday party, following an awareness walk which was in line with the economy... not enough funding to throw a Holiday party.. $725.00 hall, $300.00 food, $230.00 table dressings, $150.00 centerpieces, $75.00 printing, and all the little things that make it magical... not including the $20.00 per child gift and $5.00 per family package..... $1,500.00 seems like min. to raise to make a stress free party which s so magical I am addicted to throwing it each year.. BUT as I mentioned the economy has take a dive to the point we are getting little funds... The Hall is paid, a family is donating food.... we are trying to be super creative, BUT it is what it is.. I look at the 200 people coming who will have a magical stress free night bonding with families just like theirs, making family to family support connections that will last long after the close of this event... No one can help a mom who is having struggles than a mom who is also raising a child with disabilities. We are a special breed. Our children have shown us a love others can not see or understand... our sense of humor is most often of a different level than the norm... we are just enough different to understand each other..

Let me catch up the families I serve....

Keirsten is turning 17 in a few days.... SCARY as her mom to know she can and most likely will walk out my front door to be "on her own" before long. I completely see she is not at all prepared for this move. She on the other hand has planned to save $200.00 to get her own apartment, not to mention the electric, cable, cell phone...hoping that water is included. Yes that was not a typo...she is planning all of this with $200.00 she hopes to save in the year. I on the other hand have her pre-registered to start at High Tech North which she will dual enroll into starting January in their cosmetology classes and continue in High School. In one year she will have a certificate to cut hair and have her test to give her a High School equivalency which in her graduating year she will walk as a graduate... That is my plan, maybe just as stretched although I am praying I have the better plan and in some odd way it will all fall into place. If all falls apart, I am in need of medication for the first time in my life.

Kaitlyn is making great progress in reading. She is now at or above the 3.0 reading level and getting better. She loves to read, the world opens for those who love to read. The reason this is so important is that when you have a child reading at the 3.0 level heading into High School planning is critical. Is it still important to keep her in general education classes where reading will be laid on the back burner. Is reading so important that she misses out on the electives we all can remember, baking those cookies in home ec. Making the album cover in art class... Having those partners in group activities which built friendships and fond memories. I am going to see schools and classes to make my final decision. She is her sweet self with the spike of wanting to be my roommate and not daughter.... you know she is a teenager. "I am 16 years old MOM" is her favorite saying to me these days.

Steven is doing Ok in his educational setting although A+ in social growth. He can move those finger skate boards like non other. He can maneuver campus like it is his back yard. He is speaking before being spoken to or ordered to speak... He is actually being groomed to be the first in his district to be a student led IEP... I am excited for spring when this will occur. Steven is having a terrible time with a rash that has been called ring worm but I am not convinced... it is "odd" so I am sure we are heading to a specialist..

Jordan...well it was a rough day so lets pass over that bundle of energy so I do not say anything I may regret...LOL

Tressa spent time with her previous speech teacher today at Mandie's shower and she was lovin the time. Tressa loves girl time, social time, time to have attention with adults. she is a hugger, a loving little girl. She is not the physical go getter so she requires a push every now and again.

Lucas ................. I will complete later.

Sometimes parents of teens just gotta laugh

I need to share something very funny... well in my sick humor it is funny to me..
I am not sure you all know but I have in home therapy (mental health) in the home for my teen to deal with teen issues, the program is called TBOSS and please do not ask me what they stand for but it is described: for children and adolescents and their family who display a high frequency of disruptive and impulsive behaviors and serious emotional disturbances. TBOSS provides individualized therapeutic approach where the disruptive behavior occurs, allowing access to a child’s natural behaviors, environments and caregivers, including the home, school, and day care. Treatment focuses on peer interactions and socially acceptable behavior.
The person coming has a master level degree... So it has been the best material any stand up comedian could hope to have... seriously!

I have to share a piece because most is privileged personal I can not share because you know who I am talking about but this was way way too funny I just have to share...

In discussing career choices, planning for transition the plan has been what schooling to stick with, add to or plan for and when. I gave my points and needed to just listen after that... As the therapist explained the difference from getting a job with a high school diploma verses a career where you would have a 401K for retirement... He stops to be sure she is understanding the conversation... He asks her if she knows what a 401K is.... She responds quickly; "Yes I do" He asks will you explain what you know it to be... she says; "it is when you have kids" He explains it would be good to have a career and a 401K if you are having children yes but how does a 401K work for your financial future? She stated she learned it from the BMA's, he said oh, how might that be? she says; "Chelsea Handler taught me about 401K's" really? "Justin Beebers mom got her 401K the day he was born." "Chelsea Handler said so!" I KID YOU NOT..... I did not bust out laughing....He didn't know what to say to this and she went on to explain... so oh my goodness my daughter is getting her financial planning off the BMA's.... kinda matches her comment tonight...

She says to me; Mom my teacher said to me today I should be thankful I have good looks.... wasn't that nice...

Oh dear, oh dear......this being the child that now has to take her medications before she gets to put on her eye liner because the one thing she never forgets before school is her eye liner...which now is encased in an envelope that says...TAKE YOUR PILL BEFORE YOU APPLY EYE LINER! LOL

Finding balance and holding on to balance......Life

Some days for me are one moment at a time and balance in my life is critical for all the little people who count on me every moment of their lives so I have had to take a few days to recover from some emotional dealings.

First and foremost if any of my followers are or know of a family who has a child with PWS and are interested or licensed to adopt I really would like you to email me. My world was just turned upside down from a situation needing a family for a newborn with PWS. So if I know families it is easy for me to pass along your information.

Let me back up to two years ago..... The week before Emma was born our family was submitted to adopt a little girl with Down syndrome at that time just 6 years old. A sad situation and she ended up in foster care... as the process moved on our end dropped the ball because Emma's situation was presented and moved very fast where I was in NICU out of town; living a new mom role with a very sick baby girl. I did not return emails or phone calls about the 6 yr old for months... I felt she must have been provided a home, she is so darn cute. I checked on her in the spring and learned she is still sitting in foster care.... still waiting for her family. I contacted the agency again and they called to request our current home study..which then makes us go through the process.... we have a new child so a new home study ($$$).. we are approved to adopt and space was being made for her to come. Tressa had made room in her bedroom to add a new sister her age as the little girl is almost 8 now. We have had the home visits, paper work jumping hoops and meeting all the new critera of Adam Walsh clearences, FBI fingerprints on top of FDLE level 2 clearences etc to meet ICPC regulations... no problem I have never been in trouble with the law and believe I am very capable of bringing her into our home as it feels God has kept his hand on me to care for her...in his time it will happen.

Last week as I was interviening in a situation in Florida helping a family in crisis I get an email to help a new family in need of placing their baby into an adotpive home who has PWS and they are hoping to find a family involved in PWS and know adoption and care of children with PWS... I sent out emails/phone calls to families who had talked to me about their desire to adopt in the past with children who have PWS.. I got back email after email of denials for right now is not a good time... I talked to the parents on the phone and I questioned if this isn't a clear message that it is our family he needs... I move to make arrangements to say; what is one more? I contact our social worker and attorney to be sure I am not blocking the placement of our little 8 yr old who needs us and they say if I am sure I can do it they trust in my judgement, check on what supports do you have in place... I talk to my teens in the home and of course my household says YES to a new baby... We get the Baby bed set up, place all the little boy materials out and we are set for me to fly out to meet the baby... but something didn't feel right... something kept me from clicking the payment button and having the flight confirmed.. I prayed and prayed what is happening... I emailed, I befriended face book friends that I have never personally met but are support in the world of PWS... and I prayed for an answer.. everything is moving quickly as it does with newborn adoptions for special needs.. I need a commitment. I talk to the family again and their questions of me brought the light staight to the surface.. the vision of long term goals for all were made clear.. this is not the plan, I need to back out and let this family move to find peace in what they are doing and if adoption is the answer, is this right>>> not for our family... and I went through a brief grieving of loosing an adoption placement, packing up the baby's spot in our home. The support from my friends is immensely appreciated, the strength it took for me not to take on so much more than my family really could handle...

The Extreme Makeover we had been nominated with for Home Makeover has not been decided so we are in a home which is in need of space for adding another boy to our family. In the long term plan for our family who would take over if anything happened to me, one child with PWS is a huge responsibility and 2 is twice as much.. Would that person or persons be able to move into my home as it is..no...this house is fine for me right now, that is not good long term planning. No one else would allow three children in their bed..LOL (all the kids have their own bed, mine seems to be the preferred) So it is calm today, it will be more calm when the baby is either in his birth family making his spot as their son and their believing they can parent him or in an adoptive family and all calm in their choices.. That will be a glorious day... but today we are where we need to be and yes I do understand I can not save the world and I have done more than most which all makes total sense on an average day..... days where I stay balanced.

The days after, this another clear message I did the right thing... when Tressa(PWS) came to our home Jordan was 18 months...last week I thought this is a parallel placement to that, seemed to be following EXACT play out. Then yesterday at Emma's 18 month check up I was told she needs weight on, she has fallen off the charts so pediasure and cookie parties.... OH GREAT!!! This was the same as with Jordan...for years I had to have Jordan hide under my sheets before bed and load him with calories.. I so remember how unfair it felt..when I mentioned another baby with PWS to my Pediatrician he says "NO" LOL I must admit when I mention adoption to any one of my friends or family 80% say no, but they have been saying "NO" since Kaitlyn?? Steven?? Jordan?? Tressa?? Lucas?? Emma?? and what if I had listened to those "NO's"

Today I need to get busy on what is current, a Down syndrome awareness walk/park date which is overwhelmingly difficult to pull together in this economy... Only three of the almost forty families coming registered ($$$) so how do you throw a HUGE event with $150.00.... it isn't enough to order printing for registration forms let alone getting the T-shirts...so I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders right now which I have to find balance... the balance is I am holding to my word! I am not taking from my family any longer to make Down syndrome events work out the way I envision...they will be what they are for what is provided from the local community of DS... Awareness and togetherness ... it is what it is.

I am moving forward with the little girl and hopefully before Christmas she will be in her Hanna Montana sheets Tressa picked out for her. We are always thinking of her... and how having a family, our family, her family, is going to bring closure to her life in the system.


Today is my day of rest, tomorrow is a busy day... Friday is prepare for the weekend, Saturday we have a picnic to attend and a parade at night, Sunday Tressa and I prepare to go to Gainesville for her visit to PWS clinic with Dr Miller and the following weekend is Florida PWS Conference where we will be surrounded with friends in Orlando having FUN FUN FUN... so I can look forward to so much and celebrate all we have and not think about all that we don't.. We have the most important life asset, love..and one another. LUCAS will be SEVEN on the 13th... unbelievable!!! We have so much to celebrate.

teens can't explain em, don't understand em' teens...

quick update

It has been a bit of time since I last posted about us as a family. We are all doing fine, no illnesses other than the allergy spells and return to school colds. Nothing taking much more than the regular measures. We have some of the annual medicals coming up although I am not feeling anything major will come of this years trips. Everyone eating well, exercising for the most part and therapy has been regular and consistent. Remember I put something on facebook pretty much daily. For a quick, hey what are you up to it can be found there... and if someone could PLEASE help my Mother learn facebook, she is getting upset the world knows more than she does.

If anyone is interested and obviously lives local I will be having one maybe two positions open for employment in my home after the first of the year. This is a position that comes in and helps with the kids daily and some weekends, we can be adjustable to yours and mine needs.. State pays 9 to 10 an hour starting depending on what you are doing.. email me.

Keirsten is turning 17 and some balance is surfacing, she want to start vo-tech as she finishes high school so that when she graduates she will have a cosmetology licence and work in a high end salon. She is all about hair and make up. Then she can move on to college for more if she wishes. Florida gave her a free pass to college from her special needs adoption as part of their subsidy package. Yeah!

Kaitlyn is moving through the eighth grade excited to be going to High School next year. She talks about all the things she is going to do in High School. She is very interested in the marching band. She starts bowling tomorrow with Steven in the neighborhood typical league. She is very excited about that.

Steven is Steven lackadaisical care free and as long as he has a finger skate board near by with a pad and markers the boy is not seen or heard. The weather broke so swimming 24/7 for people who live here is a bit cold.

Jordan is having some meds changes for seizures right now so all extra eyes on side effects from that. We went to the Doctor yesterday. He got a huge compliment from the staff at Children's Medical Services on how well he listens and obeys. I had a couple moments I wasn't sure but hey if that's what they see, I knkow I am pretty tough on the kids to be respectful in public because like it or not eyes on on their behaviors. HE passed! GO Jordan... not to leave out Steven and Kaitlyn who waited nicely in the waiting room without any incidence so thumbs up there as well.

Tressa is having a rough couple of days, not sure what's up but she is wanting to be difficult at school and refuse to work, she does it fine here??? Usually it is opposite, I struggle to get her to do home work... so we are woking on a reward to see if TODAY can be a thumbs up day. I know this being her repeat year the teacher is extra demanding as she well should be so she is 100% ready for the third grade. She is going to see Dr. miller on the 11th to get her medical on track and get answers on the new findings in pws research.

Lucas is making strides in this new environment at school.. This year the focus is not academic although he gets some it is on feeding and toilet which feeding is coming along nicely.. the connection for toilet I am not sure is all connected yet so a mute point if he isn't registering the connections to his brain.. we will see, just getting started.

Emma is doing fantastic as long as you let her do it on Emma time. If you seek for her to play a game she will put her arm behind her back, if you ask her to babbble she pinches her lips closed.. if you leave her alone she crawls to the toy area chatters in the mirror plays with her toys and manuviers all that she was being asked to do yet refused.. I know she is stubborn... but so darn cute. Her orthodic shoes and braces are in and she is wearing them about an hour a day or a little longer, They are only use for her to stand or walk so when she is crawling and playing solo she doesn't need them on.

Ali, well I believe we are on the down side of chewing but I could be wrong. I am not ready to run out and get new lawn cousions yet.. She is SO big, so so big. No more "little puppy" THe kids love her and she is so wonderful with them.

APX GIVES BACK - PWCF CHECK CEREMONY PART 2

Parenting children with special needs offers special insight... as in the past couple of days. Like many homes when I go to the grocery store the kids find their favorite item and feel the need to eat/drink it up, open and use as fast as humanly possible. I am working on pace, pace the race to finish with common sense... DO not drink such a huge glass of orange juice so we have more for tomorrow. This I feel like I preach on every item, crayons to orange juice.

This morning Kaitlyn yells out to me: "YOU LIED TO ME" I said Kaitlyn what did I lie to you about? "THERE IS NO MORE ORANGE JUICE" as she is waving the empty carton in the air, you told me a lie mom..... so I reflect back to yesterday...lol well I did tell her lets not drink it all today so we will have some tomorrow.

She walks away from me and says "I am so frustrated with you right now mom"

I do not respond but reflect to all the years of speech therapy paying off, I fought so hard for so many hours, pushed for in home. I did good by her! LOL I brought this on myself, I must say fighting for inclusion and all the services possible really does give them the best opportunity to be more normal than not!