During this time of year my emotions go all over the board. I miss the old days where my family gathered together bringing hundreds of related people in one place to share fun times and yes be dressed to the 9's and exchange gifts. I miss the snow for moments...lol... I miss being a child unknowing of world problems. The Innocent years. At moments I feel sad that I am single, experiencing such a fulfilled daily life solo, no one to share the moment one of the children made a milestone, said something remarkable or cuddle in adult conversation....and the touch of a man in a loving way.. I crave it in the moments I feel alone.. the times I slip into the what we do not have is also the dark side moments I find myself in every once in awhile...if only we had... AND THEN: I start the project which is the annual Holiday Party. I do call it a holiday party for reasons I am not the founder and I follow rules set forth as I represent a variety of families of all faith. So the planning starts and it sometimes seems overwhelming until a person then two step up to help, another and another volunteer contact me and the invitations to RSVP go out... my email has some days 300 emails to open, my phone rings off the wall and my home mailbox is full daily...and my life is so busy I have no time to think of sadness...until the letter comes.. My world turns completely around when the message that some one who NEEDS to be at our annual parent to parent support Holiday dinner/dance/social/gift giving=FUN NIGHT occurs...yet I read that they have not been able to make their rent nor electric bill this month and even if the car wasn't broke down they would not have the money for gas to make it to the party... I go back to How lucky I am to own a home, have my bills paid, have gas in my van (much of the month) how grateful I am I have means to provide today.. the letter thanks me for all my work in putting together such a party .. then the next letter I open, asking for the gifts to be uniforms as that is priority in the lives of their children, and another that calls on the phone to say thank you for the kindness; crying that she can not afford milk until December 1st and her small child is crying for milk.. I hang up the phone knowing that a small part of my help will make one night, one part of this season shine a tad bit brighter for a family. I share all my knowledge to assist the mom to get milk, I am sure on top of uniforms my firemen will get toys and if I have the magical connections I have in the past, some way the family without rent paid will have a ride to and back from the party so they can have a worry free night on December 20th 2011...so how on earth can I think that my being single, having less than some or any other thought other than grateful for everything here at the Pringle home.. this is my Christmas for Mary...I do not know where my spirit would be this time of year if I did not have this event to lead...I pray for peace, happiness and more than anything I pray our country comes within healthy boundaries before we destroy the true meaning of humanity.