When we started our journey to add Lucas to our family it was a roller coaster of emotions.. Timing for our family to "add on" never seems to be at the optimum moment although is there ever?? So as we moved forward things seemed to open us up to a little boy with more issues than we had ever been exposed to. SO much on paper, so much written and we hadn't met him.
I went June 12th - 13th and spend time with the family and with Lucas to see how we would be together Mom/Son. I will post that day photo! In hopes not to hurt ANY ONES feelings I will share our families "side" one might call it. When I spent time with Lucas in this environment I did not feel it was my place to advise although we were open about sharing and exchanging information. It was my opinion the family was not prepared for a child with institutional needs/behaviors. I observed some behaviors out of Lucas that scared me while there although when I got alone time I offered him substitute behaviors to see if he would stop self stem rocking/licking/banging. He stopped, so that made me feel strong in my pull to help this little boy although I must admit it was rattling me more than any other child I thought to bring home. I knew this was to be my son and I knew I could make him reach potentials I expected so we moved on. It all seemed odd... I have never been a part of a disruption; so many people are involved, each with so much adult "input/chaos." I stepped back so not to judge and hold a friendship with all parties involved. I have spent enough time with each to understand the "HOW" so today we move forward.
The first 10 days were us spending time in a hotel so that all the legal pieces could be put into place and this time was precious. We had no choice but to spend quality family time on top of one another... Much of the excessive self stem started disappearing in the10 days. The trust and fear was there at every move as I would expect. My mission was to get weight on him and start getting things in place at home (therapy) it was made clear by the end of the trip that just being a part of our family was therapy every day all day long and the advances Lucas was making was about being included with older active children in the middle of it all. He has to balance all the time as sibling pick him up, move him, bump into him, he has to fight back when he is having to keep a toy he wants or get one someone else has. Balance, strength and personality were building by the hour. He was learning my mommy look of stop or I will follow through and he responded...he stopped the undesired behavior and would search for something to put in his hand.
Once home we kept our family home life on schedule with our family routine. He had it down in a few days. We have not had only of the behaviors reported prior to our home. He waits for his meals... he has no choice as 6 kids is 6 kids any way you look at it. His diapers are changed about to dozen times a day as all the kids feel they need to help...so diaper and wipe expense should go down a great deal with school starting Monday. Lucas watches the kids eat and seems interested but not at all willing to even try a french fry. He is the best little boy, so says all my babysitters as well. He listens, he knows many of he everyday words, come here, eat, stop, no, etc... He goes to get his shoes when he sees us gathering to leave. He goes to where ever the kids are laughing and playing and laughs right along with them. He "talks" a great deal with his eyes... and LOVES TICKLE TIME. He will giggle just knowing it is about time to go into tickle time mode.
Eating is a chore. I feed him everything the kids are eating with some added bulk and into the food processor it goes. I add two extra meals to his day. Once a med. liquid he eats it all up. Anything else might come back up and until the swallow study I am not pushing it. Like Meredeth we live in Florida and the whole insurance system for Medical is an amazing journey itself... I believe we are now set or I will send off one of my ever so famous emails to the Gov office if not. SSI lost the orig court order and seemed a bit ticked that I wouldn't send in the orig birth Cert so tomorrow morning I will go sit and WAIT to turn it in to our local office.... a ton of fun for me.
So for all the Lucas followers JUST ASK... being a single mom and on summer school break I am run ragged just keeping towels clean and dry. I know there are some rules in our home that can use tweaking. My focus is and forever will be the children and their achievements. Just as all the reader hope it to be.
