If you are joining my blog now it is more than likely you have connected to our family because we have been nominated to get a new home through the show on ABC EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER... A good friend and provider; Trish sent in the application for our family while another generous friend, Linda, came to do all the required photos and video taping to meet the application. It can be months before we know anything....
We are a family of eight; Mom and seven children I have adopted.
The home was built in 1980 when Cape Coral was sought to be a "vacation/retirement spot" many houses in my area were not even equipped with telephones because it was a time for relaxation, VACATION. The process of me buying this home was at a point I had nine children; 3 of my own and six Foster children living in North Ft Myers in a trailer, (double wide) yet not wide enough...lol. I sought out a home in the Cape for schools. The process was long, I knew I needed as much room as my budget would allow. A single mom working for the state and a foster parent. We found the home in April of 1991, bought with the help of a coworker for the down payment. Once in the home the state DCF department made a ruling that state employees could not foster for conflict of interest reasons...YIKES!!! I am now in a house I clearly can not afford, at the interest rate it was assumed. I was able to get the home in balance through the credit union and we moved forward. I had the natural desire to parent; I adopted the foster child who entered our home at 18 month and then 5 years old. Once he was adopted it seemed I was done. Two boys and Two girls..The perfect family. At work I got a flyer about a teen who had blown three or four adoptions and she seemed doomed to a life in group homes. I flew out to Portland (at the time scared to fly) to meet this 12 year old. She and I connected so that was an adoption un expected... Adopting a teen was much different than Foster care and took strength from within I wasn't sure I was going to be able to hold on to. She is a great Mom living here in the Cape raising her daughter. In 1993 a prior foster child I had during her late teen years gave birth to a baby girl. That baby needed stability and mom wasn't ready to provide. I took custody to avoid the baby to enter foster care. As a non relative placement Keirsten took her role as my daughter..She is now nearly 16 years old. The placement of Keirsten was long and some times exhausting as I would work hard for mom to make the changes she needed. During this time the costs of care, all that went into my struggle with the parents to keep them above water with this new baby took myself into bankruptcy. The state did not place her as a "Foster child" therefore all the financial responsibility fell into my budget. A single mom working for the state (not high paying salary) In 1997 I met a man, thought he was "the one" to ground me, give my life the other half...yada yada yada... not at all... it was my rescue personality heading down a slippery slope, we all make mistakes and learning from them is the crucial point of life lessons. In 1998 I was at work, got a call from a placing agency about a homeless couple needing to secure stability for their daughter. She was 3 and has Down syndrome, I was ready...She was sooooo cute and this took me into the forever direction of ADVOCATE. I took custody of Kaitlyn at 3 and adopted her about a year later. Once the adoption was completed a local magazine did a special moms piece featuring our adoption. From that I received a personal fax at my place of employment to personally help (respite) with a 2 year old boy with Down syndrome. He was placed by DCF in permanent care with his elderly grandparents, Steven joined our family from there; November of 1999. Steven needed lots of one on one care so I took maternity leave from my state job. At the time of returning to work April 2000, a baby was left in the Sarasota birthing room, having Down syndrome, the adopting family opted not to move forward with the adoption plan. Birth Mom had signed her rights off and the attorney did not want the baby in foster care. I took custody of Jordan from the hospital as my first newborn adoption, He was sooo tiny! My birth children were; 10 to 12 lb newborns(half grown babies)Jordan was 5 lbs, A NEWBORN!! I then called my job; faxed in my resignation for early retirement to be a full time mom. I began working parent to parent support through an organization called FND very pt time (20 hrs a month.) I was doing what I loved to do and could not think of a better life. Each day was a joy. Eighteen months later ready to build a new home, starting a not for profit business helping others raising children with disabilities as a volunteer CEO/Director, life was grand. I was approached about a newborn baby girl. The parents had heard my story of open adoptions/ my care for the children from a distant internet connection. They flew from Seattle to Ft Myers to meet me, they were sure the match was perfect and they had the adoption plan set in motion. It was a journey of who, how, why, when....I adopted their daughter with an open adoption --extending family. Tressa has Prader-willi syndrome. I need-ed all the support I could get to make it through the second year. Facing the true needs of a child with this disability are more than words can prepare one for. Many tearful nights wondering if I could go on, can I do this??? Am I the right person for her (she was 2 years old at that time) I sought out some great Doctors in Gainesville and met the National PWS group housed out of Sarasota, Florida. I regained all the strength I needed to move on. During this same time, I organized the first BUDDY WALK, October 2002 for Ft Myers with endless volunteer hours. This year I also had to get divorced(Split Feb 2003) I am now back to single parenthood, one income and at the beginning no income.... I was scared. How would I ever work outside the home...who will care for my babies??? How do I make this all work? I had 15 acres paid free and clear which was to be our future dream home with horses, gardens and land for the kids forever; although to survive that needed to be sold. I had that money to pay down our mortgage for security and as "life savings." The kids and I bound together living on a fixed income, making life solid from all the love inside the home. Each child made progress as I learned more about disabilities, inclusion and advocacy. Got involved with Lee County schools ESE sharing all the knowledge I am gaining. We had so much to celebrate, we just couldn't let anything get in our path for success. Our theme song; "Can't Break my Stride." Time went on and the economy boomed. We seemed to have the world by a string...SEEMED. You see living the way we were was fantasy, credit card debt was rising... The life savings depleting as the cost of living was increasing. My saving grace-THANK GOD, I had my home!! I took on the position of PARTNERS IN POLICYMAKING, joined the board with FCC. We were learning to scale back when we got a call the summer of 2008. A little boy with Down syndrome and autism had been adopted out of an orphanage in Hungary and was not doing well in the USA. His family was not bonding, he was acting out, his next couple placements were not working, his life was spinning out of control and he was reacting...they were looking to get him institutionalized. My heart broke for him. You know it, I flew to meet him , poor as a church mouse, I made it work. I went on the Internet told of his need for a family and friends responded. We got a few gas cards, McDonald cards, a hotel donated for our stay and the agency that brought him into the USA stood behind the adoption costs so it was all made possible. We (I took Nancy, another parent of a child with DS, good friend) put gas in the van and drove to pick him up. Lucas was a mess when we took custody, he is thriving today. Ok, I can not tell you how many time I have said, this is it. This is our family......On March 26th 2009 the attorney that helped get Lucas to Florida emails or texts I can not remember about a newborn girl with Down syndrome in Broward/ his agency does not do special needs as a rule and he needs a family to commit asap as DCF had been notified and she was heading into foster care. Her planned adoptive family left her due to many medical conditions ( 3 holes in her heart, failing to thrive)... I ran to thrift stores, called my daughters who both had baby's in the past couple years and started collecting "baby stuff." Keirsten and Katie were home picking out names off the computer, I then headed to NICU for 10 days to be by Baby Emma's side and nurse her to be released.(The rest is in past blog history)
This is how the Pringle family was built. Meanwhile, the home is the same ole home it was in 1991....with some simple modifications/additions to try and keep up with the times. The need for many many necessary modifications to help make the home more independent for a lifetime for the children are mandatory. Many things in the home pose life threatening issues; Mold being #1, then layout for Tressa and her eating disorder, many more. A families home should be Safe and accessible for each person and overall house updating to the times and needs of the children and myself to promote self sufficiency.
If you are still reading it is important for you to email your contribution to the community for ABC to bring their project to Cape Coral. The show/ABC is all about communities helping themselves and they will do their part if we do ours. Let them know how you can help the show, volunteer, provide lunch for their crew, hotel accommodations..I don't know, you know what you can offer!! STEP UP!
Many may be asking how I help myself:
I cut credit cards Feb 2008- none used here at all.
I have paid off a few and chipping away at the others as I can.
I eat at the local pantry Tues/Thurs while the kids are fed through their schools.
Get day old bread, gov. food bank.
Angel food program and WIC
(we do not qualify for food stamps)
Our income meets the outgoing NECESSARY HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES.
I shop at thrift stores $.99 for kids clothes.
I cut their hair; Jack of all trades (not really)
I clip coupons, seek out deals- clearance
I advocate, barter with people.
Use netflix and no longer buy DVD's
When my extended family asks what I want for my Birthday/holiday; it is often- a microwave, washer, something fixed, oil change.
We do not go out to eat, unless the restaurant donated our visit.
I cook wisely. Lots of veggie dinners, (free veggies from local market)
Take hand me downs, purses-girl items, toys, etc.
I advocate for any support out there we are entitled to.
I have GREAT friends!!! Believe in my cause.
