Tressa has an open adoption, we fly out to Seattle to spend time with the birth family.
The trip went well, it was planned with lots of activity as the two siblings in Seattle ages 12 and 9 have not remained connected to Tressa therefore experience stress with the visit. Tressa is easily excited; her disability (Prader-willi syndrome) can be challenging to others. Tressa is full of love, she can be loud and extra excitable, anxiety is an issue for her.
On the trip out to Seattle Tressa and I got to the airport along with Emma. While checking our luggage Tressa announces she has to go poop...I am next in line after a long wait...URG... SO this nice man lets us go. I tell her one minute..WELL..she has diarrhea.. Not good. I pull out an overnight pullup and throw her panties in the garbage slip on the pullup and head for our gate... security was new..baby bottles, medications and all..not much to say but time consuming. Off to the gate. Tressa tries to go potty but nothing. I explain we will eat very little to avoid a problem. We have a 2.5 hr ride to Chicago. In Chicago she says she doesn't have to go,,we are out of time and run for our connection. I ask her again..Nope. I do not have to go potty. The 3.5 hr ride seems flawless eating only a little and sips of drink....BUT about 1.5 hr out from Seattle my leg is wet and the smell over takes our area as she has blasted through the pull up. The plan is full and no where or no room to get anything done...Bear with it..amazing the Captain lands in just on hour..cut 30 minutes off the landing????? He was notified but must be a coincidence right????
The smell, oh the smell!
I try to locate the first restroom..It is bad really really bad I mean really really bad.... I really mean bad....and we see the cameras (video) rolling as they wait for us to make our way to the general public area;;;;OMG!!! I strip hr down. give her a soap and water sink bath...all 97lbs of her....I rinse out her shirt tails ans they were tucked into her jeans.. The jeans are dark so hiding their being wet... The smell is covered with soap smell as most of the "damage" is in the garbage can or washed away... She is crying, I am wiped out and the family is waiting to see this little girl who hasn't been in Seattle for a long time.... It all woks out we gather our items and head for their home...a good bath and new clothes--we are set to meet the siblings at their school.. All is well.
The visit was good, some moments of PWS rearing it's head but Tress each time over came her drive for the need and was SUPER! Her bonding with siblings started better than it ended bt over all a small dent was made to grow off of if they choose to. Tressa will love them bunches and bunches regardless as our family is just that way..well I teach this...I am not always as forgiving as my children are but each day brings new sunlight. The stop to see the grandparents is magical as always. everyone should have a Granddad like Tressa's birth Grand dad at least once in their life. He admits life has not always been this fun for him but the years now with the grand kids are priceless. Grandma is soft, loving and full of insight which she gently without effort instills into the grand kids. She is an amazing woman, so strong and vibrant although her stature/appearance does not lend to it so Grace is a good definition for her as well.
THe following day the relatives from New York fly in and relive the stress from the three girls starting to bid the parents for affection, it is a tough call on how this all should be handled because the birth parents parnt in an entirely different fashion than I as well as live on the other side of the coin than I... it is not a match that will ever flow smotth but some how we need to find a balace for the girls.. My idea for the next visit is for them to come to us as that would force the girls to focus on what is at hand...time with thir little sister. WHiel up there for such sa short visit outside distractions were constant..although it worked well on Tressa's behalf because the girls did not embrace her she had other who did. I see her one sibling ready to make effort. I would love to have some expert help in this so no life long damage occurs as e venture this journey. I can honestly say this time it was me who left hurt, me who doesn't feel I should have to endure the uncomfortable feelings...as much as it isn't about me, I have to have some sense of good feeling --Don't I??? I am her Mom, would I allow her to visit this home if they lived here? How do I balance my place in this journey now.. I offered to stay at the grandparents where I feel less stress because the siblings make us not feel welcome...The grandparents do, the cousins do,the friends and extended family make us feel very welcome...Oh my, at least we have lots of planning time for the "next time"
