Today I want to educate you all a little about open adoptions. All of my children have open adoptions from my beginning beliefs in raising my birth children. My marriage to the children I gave birth to Father did not last past their toddler years. Our time together was nothing I am proud of as a parent. Many of you know I usually take the hard=LONG road in life and learn from mistakes but mistakes always bring some extremely positive experiences into my life... So raising Mandie, Michelle and Kory I never said a negative word to them about their Father and would never discourage their having time with him (unless unsafe) I was open in communication with them about what was appropriate for their cognitive ability. Meaning in early years I protected them from his drinking and sought help in ala-teen and other group support to EDUCATE them about their genetic disposition to alcohol. I always let them know their Father loved them the best he could... (He was not in their lives for 16+ years) In 2007 they located their Father and were able to accept him openly and form their own relationship with him as adults and the chips lay where they lay from their desires to have or not have a relationship continue. I gave the openness to have no ill feelings of him one way or another...
OPEN...
My adoptions...
Josh has known of his birth family from day one. His birth Mother came to my home (current home) prior to my adopting him. She always knew where he was and how to get hold of him. Josh struggled with his birth roots off and on until an adult when he chose to more into the Birth moms home and learn who his birth family was..I was OPEN to it all and today Josh has no void in his life.
Erin has known her birth family from day one. She went to live with them a few months after the adoption because of her inability to bond with us, it was a learning experience and she returned after a few months, lived as our family member until she was 18 and moved out on her own to try and find herself. In 2008 Erin moved in with her birth family across the country and in a short time learned her family connection was here and moved back. She shares that a huge hole in her life; a fantasy of who her birth family she envisioned was, was not in perspective and she feels complete and secure here to raise her daughter as our family member.
Keirsten is still in the home, has always known of her birth family, has ups and downs with the lack of contact from "their part" She accepts her life and doesn't share much hurt although she has buried anger which I am sure stems from some unresolved issues related to this. She has her birth mom on her face book and struggles with ??WHY?? and some day I pray she accepts drugs and alcohol as a disease and seeks more understanding of being ahead of the danger of her first drink from knowledge and understanding.
Kaitlyn's mom is on my facebook, she has stayed in our home and is very much aware of our every day accounts.Kaitlyn recognizes her birth Mother looks like her although confuses it with trying to understand her birth story and understanding Down syndrome.
Steven's grandparents have open contact although they did come for Holiday's as "Grandparents" to all the children thy are now living in assisted living conditions that do not lend to their driving over here any longer.
Jordan's birth mother was given my information through hr attorney after she left him at the hospital although no contact has very been made.
Tressa's Birth Family all have open access to our every Day life though all avenues of communication. We fly out to Seattle as guests in the Birth family home at their expense for face to face visits. They invited this as their opportunity to have as much openness as possible with Tressa.
Lucas' American family and Hungarian officials have access to this blog and are welcome to contact at any time.
Emma's birth mom has requested photos only and is welcome to this blog when she feels ready.
