Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It is hard for me to write when I am in a funk. I have this image of not wanting anyone to think I have a negative side. I am a positive person always looking at the sun shining yet today it was tough. My daughter calls my blogging my fantasy.. she says I should let everyone know just how much work each day I live is. My problem is I would never want any of my writing to portray anything but happiness because at the end of each and every day I would not change places with anyone. I truly have a blessed life for who is in it not what is in it.

I woke this morning and found out information I could have done without. I have moments.. I packed up and went to walmart for the soft wares of the house. I was able to get loaded with paper products, the essentials and some necessary cleaning products. I still could not get out of the funk.. Upon getting home and talking to Mandie she insists that I need to let go of dreams. I need to have a date in mind to give up on the thought of getting EHM, yet I hold on. She is my grounding side. She brings things to a place I would not otherwise visit. I give rational reasons why I dream... Why I believe I can save just one more life.. why I do what I do each day of my life.. She rolls her eyes and says, but Mom please give it a date..That has to end by summer and we have to have a new....let summer be it and move forward.. I dream. I care to call it I believe.

A good shower puts me in motion to move forward with the day. I have some catching up, posting photos, getting post cards ready for the kids and picking up Tressa's glasses. I have a break and clean m room, in the midst of ordering a missing part to the pack and play to offer another bassinet in my home as a just in case Because I believe. LOL The funny part about where I am today is I am at peace and inside my heart and soul I am at peace. It is my nerve endings that stretch me.

I almost forgot it is Tuesday and food pantry night...As the time was near 9 pm I remembered and headed out to get the load of goodies. Kaitlyn rode with me, she makes me smile. I love all the time we share because I know I can laugh just being with her.

Netflix delieved New York, I love you .... it just isn't going anywhere for me. I think I will find a news station. I am not a LOST fan, never could get into it.