I remember when mine went...It is amazing how many people can go through life never knowing about true abuse. Mandie took her initial class on ZERO TOLERANCE in the world of child welfare this morning. She went to the class believing it would be much like all the other zero tolerance classes in past jobs...sexual harassment in the work place. NOT the case this morning. She said she was in a room with about 50 other employees for Developmental Disabilities of the state of Florida. She went on to say her eyes welled up a few times and when she looked around the room she didn't see anyone else.. I am sure it is because they have been in this type of class before.
She learned today that people with disabilities are abused at the rate of 90%. YES TRUE. She learned that 80% by care takers, people the person trusts and loves. All she could think about was her siblings. It hit hard when they described the "TYPICAL" person who gets abused... They described Kaitlyn, the person who loves everyone, trusts and has a free spirit. Then Jordan, the person who might be more difficult, trying on the patience of the care taker. She said then to think 90% of all, so her siblins will be abused....where her mind went. The class gave graphic visuals from autopsy's she described as shocking. She felt more the photos where more than her mind could handle this morning.
She mentally escaped the moment, into the thought of after the class driving to the Disney store to pick up her new Tinker Bell movie and going to a happy place.
Her need to talk to me was overwhelming... I explained why I feel it so important to have this house the forever plan for the children. That having a special needs trust with a board of directors watching over the kids is so critical in planning their future. That yes I understand they will out live me and possibly her. She seemed very changed and wanting to make plans to teach them protection for themselves. Although then she said that the instructor gave details about them trying to teach people with disabilities in group homes/nursing homes which every day they repeated what to do. She said when they mentioned Prader-Willi syndrome specifically as a person whom gets taken sexual advantage of because their desire to please for a rewards, she nearly lost it. Her mind went to all the contacts the kids have now and her feeling we can no longer send them to school...we can not trust anyone..... what if Kaitlyn gets in the bathroom and a male teacher goes in--she will not know- not to do as he says...What if she is at a friends home and someone does something, will she tell??? What about Jordan... she needed a break... I told her to watch Tinker Bell and we will talk tomorrow.. no worry they are safe today... we will plan tomorrow.
I worry every day and believe we are putting everything in place and keeping very visible in all the places the children go, we have to have some trust with the choices we put our children in. We have to watch for signs and hear what the kids tell us in verbal, body language or temperaments. all the ways they can tell us in their way.
I remember my first week in the child welfare system thinking the world was all bad..How can people even think of hurting someone in these ways.. (I will not give descriptive of what Mandie did hear today) It is unthinkable, our minds will never understand the why.. Again PREVENTION, the best we can do for our children.
