I have a son who is 25 years old. He was an ESE student all his education years although back then I had NO IDEA what that meant. He dropped out after the 5th grade in all respects. I was a single mom working 3 jobs to offer my children what I thought was important at that time. They wore the new fashions, had the new game machine...I bought a house in a part of town upscale for working middle class families, the better public schools to move out of "Private school fees." All the things not important at all, I then placed value on. I knew things were not right when this son was in middle school although again I was a single mom trying to hold things together for my children.. I wasn't thinking past that day.
I recall driving home one night after teaching a "PARENTING CLASS" for the department to find my neighbor outside waiting for me to inform me my middle school son is drunk and has been roller blading off the peak of my roof across the back addition and on to the trampoline... OMG!
Then another time I wake up in the middle of the night to a flood light in my back yard with this same son digging the biggest hole I have ever seen dug by hand to build an underground fort to entertain friends... one problem, a HUGE boulder was in the way and all the chiseling wasn't making a bit of difference in size to get it removed.. (crane material) not to mention no permit, crazy idea!
The night I heard the door bell going off a thousand times while I tried to sleep because he was fixing it... until it broke...He fixed EVERYTHING in our home until it was broken. And oh my! Sunday night was a night he was NEVER home... (garbage night in our neighborhood) Monday on my way out to work was always a surprise to what was in my yard/house/garage. Something he saw value in... and many times he could do something amazing with the "junk".
He has ADHD and fights depression... In April 2000 he took a BAD spill under a pick up truck while riding a skate board holding the moving trucks wheel well and mangled his growing body under the truck tires. As the truck driver was a friend he did not push the insurance to get completely medically repaired and was from then on hooked on pain medication to the point it is a drug addiction. Also, I believe self medication to ADHD as well as depression and the sleep deprivation of staying awake 3 days at a time and crashing for 2. A life so out of control I couldn't get any local services to turn him around...I actually found that the first few gave him more contacts, and he got deeper into trouble...
Many years have passed and some gains yet mostly back slides.... He struggles every day of his life for normal life balance and yet for me to be honest I do not see his effort to face his addiction, he is in denial... something other than helping himself. TODAY, he has no choice...
Today he is behind bars...for a yet to be determined amount of time (approx.1 yr) ... He will now face consequences and I pray very hard that he faces his demons. That he takes this time to better his soul, face his maker and put his life into the hands of the belief he can rise above those demons. I pray my baby boy comes out a better person. It is one of the hurting parts of my heart to bare. I am thankful he is not dead, because that is the path he was on. I know this was best, it is just awful pain for his Mom. Some day I pray he feels our pain...His family that loves him so deeply.
